I am a person who has embraced her non-traditional name, and so have I become a non-traditional student. Let me tell you a tale of how I have come to pursue a career in planetary science.
The first time I went to college, I majored in biology and fine art. Fresh out of high school, I wasn't quite sure what I wanted to do when I grew up. I have always loved science and biology seemed like a practical choice. Biology seemed like a major I could succeed in - it was much more do-able than, say, physics. And medicine seemed like it might be a good career for me. I would gain prestige and I could help people. (I got a second major in fine art because I love making art and have always been about having a rich life). After I received my bachelors degree, I took my MCAT (crushed it) and enrolled in community college for a year to get the physics courses that were required for med school but which had not been required for biology. At 23 I did a course called the Landmark Forum and I got that the possibilities available to me in life were much more vast than I had previously conceived. Coming from the perspective that I could do anything, I asked myself if I truly wanted to go to medical school and the answer was no. If I had been more honest with myself in undergrad the first time, I would have said that I wanted to do medical research. But this seemed out of my reach. I was used to playing with huge boundaries to keep me safe from failing. Research seemed "too hard" or said in another way, something I might not be good at. Still, I held the perspective then as I do now that medical research is morally fraught. Medicines, devices and treatments that help people are tremendously valuable. And yet, the costs associated with these under our current system enriches those at the top of these companies while squeezing cash out of patients. That's before you potentially start gassing mice to slice up their brains.
I still didn't quite know what I wanted to do but I now felt open and confident. I went out swing dancing one night and introduced myself to a stranger. "What do you do?" "I work for a science toy company." At the same time I learned of this as a possible job, I decided that I definitely wanted to do it. Despite their lack of openings, I gave Rich my card and told him to call me if anything changed. I was surprised to get a call two weeks later that something had opened up and would I send over my resume. I worked for Steve Spangler Science for six years, becoming the manager of customer service in that time. That workplace was lively and zany. My hair was frozen in dry ice, Steve hung a bowling ball from the warehouse roof to demonstrate entropy, we played with static electricity, dry ice, fire, slime, exploding Mentos and other things that go "boom." I participated in a Guiness Book of World's Record breaking event for the world's largest physics lesson, which I helped put on from the grass at Coors Field Stadium. I helped kids and parents with their science fair projects. I loved it there. But eventually I decided I needed something more challenging and that I wanted a career. There was another course at Landmark that I really wanted to take. It had assigned texts, it required travel to Los Angeles, I would be interacting with high-performing people from all over the world. I really wanted to do things that had been holding me back. It was expensive, I might not get what I wanted out of it and I was afraid I'd look foolish; it would likely be very challenging and it was expensive. But it also promised that I could get anything I wanted for my life out of participating. I asked myself what I wanted and more than anything I wanted the career of my dreams. When I gave myself permission to envision any future, I could see that more than anything I wanted to study planets for a living. Nothing I could imagine seems better than that. But there were things holding me back. It would be very challenging; I might try it and utterly fail, I would risk looking foolish and it would be very expensive - probably requiring a second undergraduate degree's worth of time and money. As I signed the paperwork for the Partnership Course at Landmark, my reasons for not pursuing the career of my dreams lost their hold on me too. In that course I declared to everyone that I was inventing a future where I was a planetary scientist. Another one of the participants was a vice president for Northrop Grumman and he helped me get in touch with the internship office, which led to me spending my first summer after college (the second time) back in L.A. working on the James Webb Space Telescope.
Being a graduate student is an exercise in striving for greatness and constantly reminding yourself that the remedy for all the ways that you're not that isn't to hate yourself, but to keep working at it. Despite all the challenges of pursuing this career, knowing that there is no other career path I'd rather be on is a comfort and a blessing.